Okay, so here’s the deal… My fiancee has a sibling who is getting really heavy into drugs (they’ve been into alcohol for a long time and it’s already ruined their ability to socialize properly — they’re almost always deceptive, manipulative, and conniving).
My fiancee and I are around this sibling quiet a bit, and frankly its maddening. They’re in collage right now, so I know some things are to be expected as far as youthful stupidy is concerned, but this has gotten out of hand. They’re smoking marijuana up to 5 times a day and having crazy drunken pot parties that last all night. And while the partying isn’t something new — the drug abuse is, and it’s all the fault of some new romance who brought the bad habits in with them.
The rest of my fiancee’s family is turning their head the other way, acting as though it’s none of there business – but the fact is that this person has a history of addiction and is not the best judge in character, so I worry that if she doesn’t get out from underneath all of this soon, it could kill her. Its caused her to change the group of friends she was hanging out with (which weren’t the best bunch in the world before, but at least they didn’t drive cars with bullet holes in them!) and I know in my heart that this is going to destroy her.
She doesn’t have a job and is collecting unemployment, and I know that I can file an objection to that and cut her funding out from underneath her (making it harder for her to afford drugs). Failing that, I could turn her into the authorities and let them straighten her out, but I worry because she’s taking college courses to become a nurse and I know that you can’t work in the medical field if you have a drug conviction on your record.
I don’t want to just look the other way on this, but I don’t really want to become the target of hatred either. I’ve been vocal with my opinions and even if someone else were to anonymously report her, blame would fall on me. That said, I don’t really know what to do.
She’s becoming increasingly confrontational and overbearing by the day — any advice is greatly appreciated.
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3 Comments
I understand that this person is a family person who you care about but the bottom line is, these people are criminals, while they may not be bad as dealers they are supporting those drug cartels in mexico which has put that nation on the brink of a civil war. So just report him to the police.
first off if it is just smoking weed you are worried about, you need to move on. Now if their smokin crack or meth then you got a problem. The alcohol will kill them before the weed does. Nobody has ever OD’d on weed. If you call the police on them they will hate you forever and in most states a simple possession charge will only land them in jail for a day or two. tell them you don’t like it and let them decide if they want to continue. Please a stoner is the most love-able person in the world. All they want is a cheeseburger and they are happy!
In my experience you can not help someone with this that does not want the help. What has seemed to work was to not enable and let them hit bottom, when they are ready for the help hopefully they will not have chased away those who care.